God Loves My Story

I knew you before you were born

Refer to my story dated April 1, 2018

Remember when I told you I didn’t know what God wanted me to do with my life for Him?  He began asking me this question at the beginning of Lent.  I have been praying, perhaps over-praying, about this since.  Then my blog on 4/1/2018 came to mind.

I try my best to read the Bible daily and I have several books of inspiration that I toggle back and forth from morning to morning.  This morning, after having gone to a Bible study last night and continuing to ask myself this question, the first thing I read in my book, 100 Things God Loves About You, (various assembled unknown authors),  was “God loves your story”.  Here’s what it had to say:

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

  • – Psalm 139:16

I researched which Bible this passage came from and found that I have a whole slew of Bibles!!!  Anyway, it comes from the NIV New Life Application Study Bible.

I’d like to add to it verses 17 and 18:

17.”How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!  18.Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.  When I awake, I am still with you.”

To me, this is so wonderful because He thinks I have an amazing story!  I know because scripture tells me that God, YHWH, Yahweh, Jehovah, my Lord, tells me Himself that it was written long before I was born.  He knew every twist of the secret plan, every unexpected direction, every happy and sad moment(s).  Wherever I went, He had been.  He will walk before me and with me as my Scout, my Pathfinder, my Guide, and my Friend.

When I put my trust in Him, He promises me the utmost best of happily,  heavenly, endings forever after.  Isn’t that just completely, totally, and miraculously awesome!

Killing it with desperation — Ascerblog

You’ve thought this through, you’ve done your research and planned and planned so that this all turns out perfectly. Time to execute the plan. And surprisingly, it turns out to be nothing like you imagined and thought and read about. It’s all totally different. Here comes the time to make the decision, to either kill your…

via Killing it with desperation — Ascerblog

He Knew Me

“4. The Word of the LORD came to me saying, 5. ‘Before I formed you in the womb, I knew (chose) you, before you were born, I set you apart;'”

-Jeremiah 1:4-5a

As the scripture continues, it states, “I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” While I know He has not appointed me as a prophet, this Easter morning, I sat in amazement – total amazement that He knew or chose ME. Of all people to do some thing of His will. Just like He has appointed each one of you (good and bad) to carry out His mission. I’m still wondering what that might be. But I know, in His time – not mine, He will reveal to me His plan for me. I Can Only Imagine. I am so excited.

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Easter, because Jesus has risen. Yes in deed, HE HAS RISEN!

Lake Junaluska

pexels-photo-54379

Now, on to a brighter subject – Last week, my husband and I went to Lake Junaluska, NC to attend a quilters’ weekend.  He went to the Cherokee Reservation everyday while I stayed at the Terrace Inn.

I usually make a quilt while I’m there (almost a week) or knit a sweater or pair of socks; however, this time, I decided to try my hand at selling Sterling Silver jewelry.  I learned so much.  I wrote as much as I could down on paper, told all the ladies making quilts that I was using them as “subjects”, asked them to give me feedback on how I could make things easier, better, etc.  I received a lot of wonderful feedback.

I didn’t make much money, but then I had everything marked down for my friends, the quilters.  I gained a lot of knowledge and insight in to what I will do when I begin my website.  Husbands, watch your wallets and credit cards because your home is the next “hotel” that I’ll “invade”!!!!!  ;o}

 

March 29, 2018

Heart Broken

  

I don’t even know where to begin.  Definitely not from the start, because we’d be here all day.  I guess I can begin with these pictures.

The first one, to me, looks like a picture upside down.  The ocean on top should be on the bottom and the mountains in the middle should be turned around and in the middle and the gray on the bottom looks like the sky which should be on the top.  As I see it, the world is upside down.  I am so heart broken, tattered, and torn right now that I feel like my life has been turned upside down.  The kitten in the middle – not understanding what in the world is happening right now; lost and pleading with God to make the pain and hurt to go away.  Any finally, the girl in the middle of the road, waiting for a car to run over her and kill her and they did many years ago to about six teenage boys, wanting God to kill me and take me home.

I don’t believe I have felt this kind of pain before.  Certainly not when my parents passed away, or my horse died of colic, or my best friend alienated me.  You see, I am a person suffering from PTSD, depression, Bi Polar depressive episodes, and that’s only a few of my diagnoses.  My biological siblings have been, well, I thought jealous of me because I love the life I’ve wanted to live and been able to live the life I’ve loved.

However, in doing so, my life has been a total (excuse the expression) hell.  As a child, I experienced a lot of misfortunes, to the point that when I told my parents about what was happening, they did nothing to take me out of the situation.  For the past  26 years (since my mother’s death) my siblings have either drawn away from me or been very artificial around me (and so have their friends).  As hard as I have tried,  my brother has not returned my phone calls nor my text messages.  I have tried and tried to keep in touch with him  but to no avail.  My sister, however, has kept in touch, but her reaching out has been very artificial.  My family always traveled to her residence to celebrate the holidays, but once, only once in the past thirty years has she ever come to my home to visit, and not at all since my father passed away 11 years ago.

I learned why they were acting the way they have been on Tuesday.  I can’t say they are right in their actions.  They believe what they believe and no amount of trying to change their minds will change their way of thinking.  So, as hard as it was to hear their assailing words, I have to (for my own sanity and self worth) remove them from my list of family members.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time.  Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace, taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.  Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will.  That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.  Amen.

God bless and keep each one of you safe in His arms and especially my brother and sister.

Thank you Lord.

March 18, 2018

We tend to search for fulfillment in things outside ourselves – things to get, things to check off our list, things to change/improve.  All in pursuit of contentment, “happiness”, and prosperity.  Yet one would think they already have what they need to discover these things.

This blog was created to help you see the good already present in life.  I hope you will explore new ways to see everyday gifts; pray that God will help you see “the little things”, connect with those around you, look forward to simple pleasures, and take comfort in what you aleady have.  As you start to notice these things, your life will change into something richer, stonger, and more rewarding.  And the more you practice, the easier it will get – and the healthier and happier you’ll become.

So, how do you get there? How do you find gratitude?  It’s already within you, and it’s been there all along.  It’s just been waiting for you to notice it!

Girl on deck alone sitting beside still waters

March 11, 2018

I woke up to another cloudy day here on the east coast with a splitting headache. I suffer from migraines and I had to stop taking the medication that kept them away because the medication became toxic to my body.

I’ll never forget my first migraine. I was in high school in physics class and all of a sudden I could not see the right side of the room. I didn’t know what was happening, but I tried to carry on the rest of the day. On my way to English, I had to look back and forth across the sidewalk so I could see where I was going. I struggled through the class and on the way out of the classroom, I fainted. When I awoke, I was in my Algebra teacher’s office. I was so sick to my stomach and started throwing up. My teacher told me what was happening and that I would be fine.

From then on I’ve suffered from migraines. Never knowing when they would come on but very thankful to God on the day’s that I didn’t have a headache. When I start my day’s off this way, I am reminded of Rev 21:3,4.

3. I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among His people!  He will live with them, and they will be His people. God Himself will be with them.  4. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever. “

And all I can do is close my eyes and say a prayer of thanks.

God’s peace be with you all.