He Knew Me

“4. The Word of the LORD came to me saying, 5. ‘Before I formed you in the womb, I knew (chose) you, before you were born, I set you apart;'”

-Jeremiah 1:4-5a

As the scripture continues, it states, “I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” While I know He has not appointed me as a prophet, this Easter morning, I sat in amazement – total amazement that He knew or chose ME. Of all people to do some thing of His will. Just like He has appointed each one of you (good and bad) to carry out His mission. I’m still wondering what that might be. But I know, in His time – not mine, He will reveal to me His plan for me. I Can Only Imagine. I am so excited.

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Easter, because Jesus has risen. Yes in deed, HE HAS RISEN!

Lake Junaluska

pexels-photo-54379

Now, on to a brighter subject – Last week, my husband and I went to Lake Junaluska, NC to attend a quilters’ weekend.  He went to the Cherokee Reservation everyday while I stayed at the Terrace Inn.

I usually make a quilt while I’m there (almost a week) or knit a sweater or pair of socks; however, this time, I decided to try my hand at selling Sterling Silver jewelry.  I learned so much.  I wrote as much as I could down on paper, told all the ladies making quilts that I was using them as “subjects”, asked them to give me feedback on how I could make things easier, better, etc.  I received a lot of wonderful feedback.

I didn’t make much money, but then I had everything marked down for my friends, the quilters.  I gained a lot of knowledge and insight in to what I will do when I begin my website.  Husbands, watch your wallets and credit cards because your home is the next “hotel” that I’ll “invade”!!!!!  ;o}

 

March 29, 2018

Heart Broken

  

I don’t even know where to begin.  Definitely not from the start, because we’d be here all day.  I guess I can begin with these pictures.

The first one, to me, looks like a picture upside down.  The ocean on top should be on the bottom and the mountains in the middle should be turned around and in the middle and the gray on the bottom looks like the sky which should be on the top.  As I see it, the world is upside down.  I am so heart broken, tattered, and torn right now that I feel like my life has been turned upside down.  The kitten in the middle – not understanding what in the world is happening right now; lost and pleading with God to make the pain and hurt to go away.  Any finally, the girl in the middle of the road, waiting for a car to run over her and kill her and they did many years ago to about six teenage boys, wanting God to kill me and take me home.

I don’t believe I have felt this kind of pain before.  Certainly not when my parents passed away, or my horse died of colic, or my best friend alienated me.  You see, I am a person suffering from PTSD, depression, Bi Polar depressive episodes, and that’s only a few of my diagnoses.  My biological siblings have been, well, I thought jealous of me because I love the life I’ve wanted to live and been able to live the life I’ve loved.

However, in doing so, my life has been a total (excuse the expression) hell.  As a child, I experienced a lot of misfortunes, to the point that when I told my parents about what was happening, they did nothing to take me out of the situation.  For the past  26 years (since my mother’s death) my siblings have either drawn away from me or been very artificial around me (and so have their friends).  As hard as I have tried,  my brother has not returned my phone calls nor my text messages.  I have tried and tried to keep in touch with him  but to no avail.  My sister, however, has kept in touch, but her reaching out has been very artificial.  My family always traveled to her residence to celebrate the holidays, but once, only once in the past thirty years has she ever come to my home to visit, and not at all since my father passed away 11 years ago.

I learned why they were acting the way they have been on Tuesday.  I can’t say they are right in their actions.  They believe what they believe and no amount of trying to change their minds will change their way of thinking.  So, as hard as it was to hear their assailing words, I have to (for my own sanity and self worth) remove them from my list of family members.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time.  Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace, taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.  Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will.  That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.  Amen.

God bless and keep each one of you safe in His arms and especially my brother and sister.

Thank you Lord.

March 18, 2018

We tend to search for fulfillment in things outside ourselves – things to get, things to check off our list, things to change/improve.  All in pursuit of contentment, “happiness”, and prosperity.  Yet one would think they already have what they need to discover these things.

This blog was created to help you see the good already present in life.  I hope you will explore new ways to see everyday gifts; pray that God will help you see “the little things”, connect with those around you, look forward to simple pleasures, and take comfort in what you aleady have.  As you start to notice these things, your life will change into something richer, stonger, and more rewarding.  And the more you practice, the easier it will get – and the healthier and happier you’ll become.

So, how do you get there? How do you find gratitude?  It’s already within you, and it’s been there all along.  It’s just been waiting for you to notice it!

Girl on deck alone sitting beside still waters

March 11, 2018

I woke up to another cloudy day here on the east coast with a splitting headache. I suffer from migraines and I had to stop taking the medication that kept them away because the medication became toxic to my body.

I’ll never forget my first migraine. I was in high school in physics class and all of a sudden I could not see the right side of the room. I didn’t know what was happening, but I tried to carry on the rest of the day. On my way to English, I had to look back and forth across the sidewalk so I could see where I was going. I struggled through the class and on the way out of the classroom, I fainted. When I awoke, I was in my Algebra teacher’s office. I was so sick to my stomach and started throwing up. My teacher told me what was happening and that I would be fine.

From then on I’ve suffered from migraines. Never knowing when they would come on but very thankful to God on the day’s that I didn’t have a headache. When I start my day’s off this way, I am reminded of Rev 21:3,4.

3. I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among His people!  He will live with them, and they will be His people. God Himself will be with them.  4. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever. “

And all I can do is close my eyes and say a prayer of thanks.

God’s peace be with you all.

Let the Holy Spirit Be Your Guide

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Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

– Romans 12:2 NIV

March 9, 2018

For the past twenty years I’ve thought about “aging gracefully”. An acquaintance of mine once called me “stately”. I smiled to myself and then to her and said with a sincere “Thank you”. Awhile later I began thinking about the word stately; thinking back on my high school years when I was a full 6’2”, thin (very thin) straight “ dirty blond” hair, and thought stately (?). Now, bear in mind that was at least 40 – 45 years ago.  And this acquaintance of mind told me this fascinating fact about 10 years ago.

Was it because of the way I was dressed, my natural looking makeup, my height, my smile?  What was it exactly?  So, I stopped “thinking” and grabbed for my dictionary. Mrs. Merriam Webster said, – didn’t have anything to say; the Advanced Dictionary and Thesaurus stated, “baronial, statuesque, a noble tree (impressive or grand in size, appearance or manner.”), a severe-looking policeman set astride a noble horse, a stately column – hmm these weren’t too useful. Let’s see what Mr. Oxford to say, “impressive or grand in size, appearance or manner.”  That’s more helpful. So, I look noble (!?). How does one look noble. All I could think of was England’s monarchy. Certainly not. ( I know incomplete sentence, but this isn’t suppose to be an English/language class).

Still not completely certain of what she meant, I asked her, and her response was more of the impressive or grand in size, appearance or manner.  me being a southern, mountain girl/woman still didn’t get it. So, I referred to a book, Aging Gracefully, by Linda Staten and Jeannie Hund. Whose first words were,” They say that life is a journey and it’s true. There’s a lot to see and do, and the best way to catch the sights is to slow down and take a closer look. That’s what aging gracefully is all about – liking at who you are, appreciating what you’ve got, and knowing how to have a good day!  In your own unique way, of course.”  Well, that didn’t exactly answer my question either, but I liked it. So, I want to take each day in stride; starting with my usual routine of prayer and bible reading in the peace and quiet (my husband retires in the next 3 weeks), feed my 2 cats, drink my coffee and spend a few minutes thinking about what I’m going to do the rest of the day. And wonder, mainly, about what God asked me at the being of Lent – “What are you going to do for me?”

So, I’ll sit here and ponder for awhile. A follower wrote about suicide among female inmate guards and it has touched my heart greatly. I feel I must do some thing. Even if it’s wrong. My “stately” body and mind has got to do some thing. 

March 8, 2018

March 8, 2018

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. 17 Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. 18 Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. 19 See how numerous are my enemies and how fiercely they hate me! 20 Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. 21 May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, Lord, is in you. 22 Deliver Israel, O God, from all their troubles! (‭Psalm‬ ‭25‬:‭16-22‬ NIV).

“No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭25:3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/psa.25.3.niv

March 6, 2018

“A first step in repentance is confession of sin and a prayer for the Lord’s effective enablement in the believer’s life. True repentance involves the work of the whole person in recognizing and sorrowing over sin and renouncing it so as to turn to God in full heart’s devotion to His Lordship.”

– Jeremiah 31:18